Fewer piggies going to market

They say the most expensive aroma in the world is the smell of a new car. Next year, the wonderful smell of sizzling bacon wafting through the house on Saturday mornings may take the top spot, as an expected shortage of bacon and pork will drive up prices faster than you can say squeal like a pig.

This stinks to hog heaven. According to a Purdue University study, crop damage from the worst U.S. drought since 1956 sent corn feed prices to record levels last month and may mean losses of about $44 a head for hog farmers in the fourth quarter, the most since 1998. A world shortage of bacon and pork is predicted as pig feed becomes unaffordable, which has governments increasingly concerned.
Some forecasters believe the price of pork eventually will increase to more than one-third of the current market price.

“It usually takes at least six months for higher production costs to filter through to shop prices,” said National Pig Association chairman Richard Longthorp, “but pig farmers simply haven’t got that long.”

Globally, pig farmers are selling their herds because they can no longer afford to feed their pigs.
This “pork-apocalypse” has my semi-clogged heart racing for a solution. Already a confirmed doomsday prepper, thanks to the looming zombie apocalypse, I now must take even more drastic measures in preparation for the day the National Pork Producers Council hires Kevin Bacon as a spokesperson to roll out its new slogan, “Th-th-th-th-that’s all, folks!”

The U.S. government has introduced a pork-buying program in a bid to keep its pig farmers in business. The Defense Department is being urged to speed up purchases and hold the meat for later use. The buying will help farmers, and the government will get a better price on products than if they were bought later, according to President Obama.

Wow. There’s a crisis raging in the Middle East, but move over, we have a looming meat shortage to deal with first.

“We’ll freeze it for later – but we’ve got a lot of freezers,” Obama said during a campaign whistle stop in Iowa recently.

I am placing a call to Washington to let them know I have a deep-freeze in the basement for just that purpose.

Pig industry leaders from across the European Union met in London on Friday to explore ways to ensure pork remains the world’s most affordable meat. They reported that pig herds are being sold because prices are not rising fast enough in supermarkets to cover the cost of record-high pig-feed costs.

I will never turn my nose up at pork, no matter what the price. I am rooting for the government to pull off the porcine stimulus package before I have to hock my material possessions to once again smell the aroma of sizzling bacon on Saturday mornings.

I know, when pigs fly ... .