Thursday, November 24, 2011

My Thanksgiving Story

Everyone has a Thanksgiving story. Aside from the great Nebraska-Oklahoma game on Thanksgiving Day in 1971, a game I will never forget, there is a more humbling story to my life I would like to share.

I was down before I began to crawl. Okay, I stole that line from the great Cream song, "Born Under a Bad Sign." But it easily describes the onside kick that was the first year of my existence on this mortal coil.

As my mother shared this story to me through teary eyes, it went like this. I was born in Seoul, S. Korea on Dec. 18, 1959 and abandoned my my birth family that very day. I was left on the steps of a hospital, where for some unknown reason a group of kids armed with bricks and rocks decided to use me as a human target. I still bear the physical scars. Great. Haven't even seen a hospital corridor and already I've created enemies.

I was given a name (Wong Keun Kim), and then handed over to the Holt Orphanage. Harry Holt, a farmer and sawmill operator from Creswell, Ore., began the orphanage. South Korea's efforts, on behalf of orphaned, abandoned and impoverished children, are well documented. Those of mixed race (of which I was not), were shunned by society. Many were abandoned and ended up in orphanage care. After the war, Holt Children’s Services (HCS) began finding homes for these children.

There were far more orphans than caretakers: Critical nurturing and bonding was woefully inadequate. Basic needs were barely met. Yet, the orphanage was the only haven for us.

Holt's outreach also included a babylift program, which began in 1956. More than 2,000 Korean children had been placed in American homes by the time I came along. My Dad, an Air Force pilot, first heard of the orphanage from friends in San Antonio, Texas, who adopted two of their own. I was legally adopted sight unseen in June, 1960, but because of the red tape involved, I did not arrive into the U.S. until January 1961.

A total of 53 orphans were airlifted to Portland, Ore. Holt, who personally financed much of the cost of the orphanage and the transportation to the U.S., nearly exhausted his funds. My parents picked up the remaining tab, including adoption fees, home study, visa, orphanage care fees and travel costs to the Pacific Coast.

I don't think I ever had the chance to adequately thank my parents for giving me another shot at life. My mom died in 1990 of cardiac arrest. She basically exhausted herself trying to care for Dad, who was in the throes of Alzheimer's Disease. He would leave us four years later. They would not live long enough to see my family grow, also through adoption. My wife and I adopted our two children in 2004. The siblings came to us as foster children at ages five months and 17 months. Victims of domestic violence, drug abuse and neglect, they too were down before they began to crawl.

I struggle with parenting. We went from zero children to two in an instant. The ink was still wet on our foster care license when we got the knock on the door. I didn't even know what formula was until the fateful trip to Wal-Mart that night for supplies. Since then, I've been behind the eight-ball when it comes to raising children. But someone gave me another chance, and we wanted to give these two children the same opportunity.

Nebraska, ranked #1, beat #2 Oklahoma on Thanksgiving Day, 1971. I remember craning my neck to see the game from the dining room between bites of turkey and stuffing. I will never forget that day.

But there is a more humbling story to life.

3 comments:

  1. Parenting is never an easy job. You are farther ahead than some, by your understanding of the need for a loving family! Your story is touching and I have no doubt that your parents look down on you and know just how greatful you are!!! Your children too will understand one day.

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  2. Wow Kim, what a beautifully written story of your life. You are way ahead in your parenting. I am sorry to hear of your parents passing, I have such fond memories of both of them. And your whole family. Happy Thanksgiving to you all!

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  3. You are an inspiration to so many of us, Kim. There is no rulebook for parenting...good intentions, love, security, a full tummy, somewhere warm and safe to sleep, you do all of these things and more. You were blessed with parents who loved you sight unseen and raised you to be a wonderful person, for you to take your two kids in and learn together as you grow as a family is truly a miracle and a blessing for you and your children. I hope all the other kids who started life as you did are as fortunate as you were to have parents like yours. This man who started this orphanage is being showered with blessings in heaven as are your parents. Thank you for sharing this and God bless you and your sweet family!!!I don't know how to post this, but it's Melinda Taylor, Lakenheath friend.

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