A Humorous Look at Independence Day
(This was written as my weekly column in the Lenoir News-Topic newspaper)

On Wednesday, July 4 our country will celebrate 236 years of freedom from British rule with the signing of the Declaration of Independence. On that day, we will roll out the grills, clean off the patio furniture, perch the American flag on the house and invite the relatives over for hot dogs and hamburgers, perhaps even a dip in the pool. As dusk settles in, we will grab the sparklers, smoke bombs and whatever other cool things that pop, fizzle, snap, crackle or pop. Perhaps we will fight the traffic and hit the nearest fireworks show.
But do we really know what we are celebrating? A reliable news source recently offered a few facts you might not know about our Independence Day. I didn’t know any. Perhaps you too will be enlightened as well.
• Independence Day was not declared on July 4. The second Continental Congress actually voted for independence on July 2. John Adams even predicted future generations would celebrate July 2 as Independence Day. Wow. What would we do on July 4 then?
• The colony of New York abstained from the original vote we now know took place on July 2. Yes, there were 13 colonies, but the official vote to declare independence from Great Britain was 12-0, with New York finally deciding nearly three weeks later, on July 19. And to think New York wants to eliminate Big Gulp sodas. The nerve.
• The very first Declaration of Independence came on Oct. 4, 1774, 21 months before the Continental Congress declared independence from the town of Worcester, Mass. During the next 21 months, a total of 90 state and local declarations of independence would be made. Were Libertarians around then?
• American troops did not fight under the American flag during the Revolution. The Fourth of July is always accompanied by a lot of flag waving, but the soldiers of the American Revolution did not actually fight under the American flag, deeming the flag more important for identification of Navy ships when arriving in foreign ports. Take that, Betsy Ross! 
• Our Founding Fathers were not radicals. We like to think that what we did in the American Revolution was original and that our ideas of freedom and rights were new and progressive. But all of their ideas and philosophies were rooted deeply in history, going back to even the Mayflower Compact. And I thought a Mayflower compact was a smaller, more economical moving van.
• We are not a democracy. People often associate democracy with freedom. The fact is, as the “Pledge of Allegiance” points out, we are a republic. Our Founding Fathers deemed this an important distinction to make, even claiming that a democracy was both extreme and dangerous for a country, resulting in the oppression of the minority by the majority. Hmm. They had it backward.
• Our Founding Fathers would not have recited the “Pledge of Allegiance.” The “Pledge” was written over a century after America’s founding in 1892. It was also written by a socialist, Francis Bellamy, whose original text was, “I pledge allegiance to my flag and the Republic for which it stands, one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.” Meetings were most likely led with a prayer. Guess they had no idea prayer in government buildings would become a hot-button issue.
• Paul Revere never took a “midnight ride.” The mythology of Paul Revere’s midnight ride can be traced back to the year 1860 with the writing of that famous poem, “Paul Revere’s Ride.” Here’s what really happened. Roughly 40 men were out on horseback spreading the news the Brits were coming. Revere arrived at Lexington first, followed by William Dawes. The two men then headed toward Concord, but were intercepted by British troops. Dawes, though injured, managed to escape, but Revere was captured and later rescued by American militiamen a short while later. Are you listening, Sarah Palin?
So, if the conversation starts to lull at your July 4th gathering, save this column and enlighten your guests with these little nuggets of knowledge. Just say they come from a reliable news source, not from me.