‘Service animal’ works for scale

    Daniel Greene loves reptiles, especially the legless, unblinking, fork-tongued kind. His pet boa constrictor, “Redrock,” is his constant companion. Greene, an epileptic, also owns two pythons, but it is his loveable Redrock that he claims can detect seizures three minutes before they happen, saving his life three times in the process in just a month. Greene claims the boa alerts him by gripping his neck and squeezing it before slithering into its carrier.

   OK, I’m throwing the red penalty flag. There’s a reason they’re called constrictors: That’s how they kill prey. And people.

   The online resource Epilepsy Action, offers some helpful tips on what to do if someone you know has a seizure:

• Protect the person from injury - remove harmful objects from nearby.

• Cushion their head.

• Look for an epilepsy identity card or identity jewelry.

• Aid breathing by gently placing them in the recovery position once the seizure has finished.

   Nowhere does it suggest wrapping a large boa constrictor around your neck to apply pressure.

   I, too, love snakes. Years ago, I purchased a baby reticulated python from a pet store. “Monty” grew to about 9 feet in length before becoming too large and cumbersome. Greene says he loves the feeling of a boa constrictor wrapping itself around his neck and gently squeezing. I also  thought “Monty” to be a loveable sort, until he mistook my hand for food and tried to eat it, fist first.

   Greene, of Shelton, Wash., says the boa, which can attain a length of 12 feet or more, senses increases in blood pressure or other bodily changes before jumping into action.

   “He knows what to do,” says Greene, who in a moment of clarity, also decided to carry seizure medicine with him.

   Greene has been an epileptic for the past 22 years. He saw service potential in Redrock, and despite the snake’s initial nervousness, took only a weekend for it to get used to Greene, and another month for it to become a service animal.

   According to the American Bar Journal, the federal government does not recognize snakes as service animals because entering public places with a boa constrictor would be potentially alarming to other people. Proposed revisions to the Americans with Disabilities Act would also exclude other reptiles, amphibians, rodents and monkeys born in captivity.

   It’s heartening to know salamanders also may be spared from the rigors of service animal training. The government thinks of everything.

   Greene is hoping the feds won’t put the squeeze on Redrock. Like me, I saw value in the slithery serpents as pets. They don’t bark, shed or require daily walks. They don’t beg for food at the table, and only need one meal a week. I understand.

   “He’s the best thing that ever happened to me,” Greene said.

   They can be a real pain in the neck, sometimes.