What's in a Hurricane Name? Nothing. I Offer a Few Ideas!

In light of Hurricane Irene being in the public "eye" this weekend, I thought I would blog about hurricane names.

Aside from the fact hurricane names are assigned alphabetically each season, they otherwise seem to be chosen at random. I think there should be more thought behind the names. After all, they may go down in history depending on their severity.

I, of course, have a few ideas for names.

Hurricanes are given names to help us identify and track storms as they cut a destructive path across the ocean. Hurricanes in the West Indies were named after the particular saint's day on which the hurricane occurred. An Australian meteorologist began giving women's names to tropical storms in the late 1800s. In 1953, the U.S. National Weather Service began using women's names for storms.

In 1979, both women and men's names were used. But a vast majority are still given the feminine name, for some strange reason, particularly the most destructive, such as Katrina and Rita.

So here is my short list of names, in alphebetical order, for use during the 2012 hurricane season (please note, this is written with tongue firmly implanted in cheek):

Hurricane "All of Tiger Woods' mistresses -- Numbering 16 as I write this, his throng of ladies in waiting on PGA Tour stops have scored an ace by playing a major part in Woods' fall from grace. Woods will never win another major championship or have the same earning power.

Hurricane "Crystal" -- After Crystal Taylor, Dallas Maverick star Dirk Nowitzki's former jailbird girfriend whose brushes with the law led to police storming his home looking for her, a fugitive. She also became pregnant and wanted his financial support. The next season, the Mavs were drubbed out of the NBA playoffs after the first round.

Hurricane "Elizabeth" -- After Elizabeth Taylor, who built a reputation as a man-eater, going through eight husbands in her 78 years.

Hurricane "Lisa" -- In 1994, Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes, part of the R&B group TLC, burned down the mansion of her boyfriend, Atlanta Falcons wide receiver Andre Rison, resulting in the lost of all his worldly possessions.

Hurricane "Jessica" -- Yes, Jessica Simpson could not be spared. We all remember her in 2009, sitting in the box seats at Cowboys Stadium wearing a Tony Romo jersey. Romo, the Cowboy's distracted quarterback, played terrible that year. Many hard-core Cowboys fans blame Simpson for costing them the season.

Hurricane "Rielle" -- Rielle Hunter engaged in an extramarital affair with NC Sen. John Edwards during his 2008 Presidential campgian, and later gave birth to their love child. Edwards is still embroiled in the ensuing legal battle, and is charged with a felony for allegedly using campaign funds to cover up the affair.

That should be enough to kick off the 2012 hurricane season! I welcome any other suggestions.